Happy autumn! Today is the day it begins on the calendar. Let’s see when the temperatures cooperate!
Oh, dear friends. My GI tract is being haunted by an unfriendly sort of virus. I refuse to allow it to get me down though!
Today, I would like to discuss marrying the wrong person. Seriously, the wrong person. Nope, not a drug addict nor an alcoholic. He works all of the time. He tries very hard to be the most wonderful person to me.
He is manipulative. He is a liar. He is emotionally abusive. He is not a narcissist by the psychological definition, but he is a self-proclaimed narcissist. (It’s truly all about him.)
He continues to look for a second woman to complete his family. He knows it breaks my heart and I don’t want to be a part of this situation at all, yet he continues. He has been looking for years.
Why stay? I know I don’t love him as my husband. I still take good care of him and treat him with respect and do all of the wifely things for him. Well, at least most of the time. Sometimes, I find it hard not to snap at him emotionally or react in an unkind manner.
I stay because of God. God does not want us to divorce. Well, at least that is how I read His Word. I can leave and live apart from him until one of us dies, but no divorce. So, I stay and lean on God fully for this situation. I find a way to have peace and happiness and feel fulfilled through God.
Are there things missing? Yes. Do I feel bad about them? No, not now. I had to grieve over my losses and proceed with life. Does my situation bring me down? Yes, there are times I still cry or become angry over my situation. I chose him though.
J was NOT God’s plan. He could not have been. I am completely ashamed to state that both of us lied to get the other’s attention in the beginning. I also was becoming older and my vanity reared its ugly head. A younger adorable guy would keep me feeling young. Jokes on me. It didn’t work out that way at all. Not even for a day. The greener pastures were a facade. The dry garden filled with weeds is not nurturing at all.
I gave up all the good I had to jump into a relationship that seemed golden. Young guy. Brilliant. Successful. Making good money. Terrible center underneath all of the gold foil and pretty paper surrounding the situation. Yet, I chose him.
I sometimes hear my Mom saying, “You made your bed now lie in it.” She is correct. No one told me to make this leap but me.
Amidst all of the struggle and strife, there is a silver lining to this rain cloud. GOD. God helps me through my pain and sorrow even though I created the mess. The Holy Spirit is within me helping me. Lord Jesus walks in front of me. God remains in charge of it all. I am grateful for the mercy and grace He has shown me over and over and over!! Grateful for each new day. Grateful for all of my blessings. Grateful for the peace and happiness and love and joy and ups and downs and laughter and life I have been blessed with!
So, dear friends…choose wisely. Let God guide you to love and your spouse. He has a plan and knows what is best for you!